Love Lectures
by Kurokis
Summary: Mukuro takes it on himself to lecture Chrome about love, babies and husbands. But it seems like Chrome never really meet Mukuro's standards. Co-op between th-Spoon and me. 2 chapters in total. Completed. Title image from PIXIV @ illust id 4323209.
1. Love Lectures :: Lecture 1

This is something that I came up with th-Spoon simply because we were bored, had nothing to do and our minds were filled with the randomness.

Crack fics. OOC-ness. please understand. :)

**Disclaimer:** KHR does not belong to me or th-Spoon, unfortunately, but if only Amano Akira-sensei would...you know, what, nevermind. I'm just getting my hopes up.

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**[Love Lectures :: 6996]**

**[Lecture 1]**

'_Kufufufufufu...my lovely Chrome, do you know one thing that I can't stand about children that I plan on having?'_

That was a random thing for Mukuro to bring up in a conversation. The two illusionists don't communicate often and when they do, it often has something to do with what Chrome was up to, the family or something along those lines - they were never private or personal like that.

_'...no, Mukuro-sama.'_ Chrome blinked.

_'Oya oya, the one thing that I can't stand is my children to be ugly.'_ Chrome never knew Mukuro was that shallow, _'would you, now, my dear Chrome.'_

_'...I've never really thought about that before, Mukuro-sama...' _Chrome pondered on the possibilities, _'but...I don't think I will mind.'_

_'...'_ Mukuro seemed to be at a loss for words for the first time in his life, _'...well, what would your choices be for a future husband?'_

Chrome had to think for a while. She never really thought about things like that - not like she had to. There's no one to tell her to get together with someone. But now that Mukuro brought it up, Chrome pondered on the possibilities.

_'...maybe Boss?'_

She wondered. Tsuna wasn't that bad of a guy, he seems to be able to look after girls and didn't seem to harsh on them. He gets serious and reliable when needed, though on normal circumstances, he's not that ideal for company. But he's the Vongola X so there should be something in that, right?

_'...no, he's too useless. Too much of an _uke_, if you have a child with him, I'm afraid I won't like it...kufufufu~'_

Chrome never really thought that _her_ child would have to please Mukuro, but..well...after all...

_'Then...Gokudera-san?'_

Though immensely loud and annoying, rash, impatient and to be honest, absolutely unpleasant, he's not actually that bad of a person. He's loyal and seems to be determined. Though Chrome wasn't sure if she would be able to tolerate it, it couldn't get that bad.

_'...no, he's too annoying, a waste of time. Too hot headed, a child with him won't last a day before your child gets run over by a truck.'_

Mukuro was rather pessismistic, Chrome never really thought of him that way.

'_...what about Yamamoto-san?'_

Yamamoto seems like a good boyfriend/husband. He would care about the child, and he doesn't seem too pushy or anything. He would most likely get along well with the child without being too stern or too seems rather ideal.

_'oya...he's undoubtly a good candidate, but he's too naive and care free, you wouldn't want to have a child like him. Besides, all he cares about is baseball...'_

Mukuro sure has high expectations.

_'...Sasagawa-san?'_

Chrome didn't know why she was bringing him up.

_'...Oya, My dear Chrome, we both know that he is _too extreme_...kufufuf~'_

_'But Mukuro-sama, you can't be expecting me to say Lambo!'_

_'...kufufu~ if you can put up with the age-difference, Chrome...'_

_'Mukuro-sama!'_ Chrome flushed in embarrassment.

_'Kufufu~'_

Chrome had to wonder why her master was such a sadist, it's uncomfortable sometimes.

_'So... Xanxus-san?'_

Xanxus is the Captain of the Varia Squad. He should be reliable to his love ones? And he is strong enough to protect them from getting hurt. Maybe he is a reliable man afterall, or so Chrome thought.

_'...no way, he talks to much trash.'_

_'..Levi-san?'_

Levi is the lightning guardian of the Varia Squad. He is loyal, honest and determined to serve his boss. He seems to be the best choice for a father amongst all of the other Varia Squad members.

_'...no way. He's too ugly, to boring, to solemn and he's pretty much _in love_ with his boss, not loyal, but obsessed. Which is wrong. He'll ditch you before you know.'_

Chrome blinked.

_'...Squalo-san?'_

_'Kufufu~ Chrome...he's too loud, too pushy and really not pleasant at all...Chrome, you must chose wisely~ kufufu~'_

_'...what about Bel-san?'_

Bel was rather unique and he seemed to be the type of person who would be proud of having a kid. If what he says is true, he has the 'Prince-quality'...

'_...my dear Chrome, are you nuts? He's arrogant, obnoxious and absolutely unpleasant. Besides, he has a weird laugh, kufufu~'_

Chrome winced slightly at the irony, but she dared not bring it up.

_'..what about Lussuria-san?'_

_'...Chrome, you're kidding, right?'_

_'...'_

_'...kufufu~'_

'_Mukuro-sama...so Fran-kohai?'_

Chrome couldn't even imagine the chances of the two of them ever being together. They just have two very different personalities.

_'Impossible. I won't let my apprentices get together, especially not when one of them is an absolute idiot.'_

Chrome couldn't imagine a master speaking like that about his apprentice then again this is Mukuro they're talking about, so he takes it to a whole new level. The point now, was that the two of them were talking about Chrome's husband, not Mukuro's...right? Chrome shook her head.

_'...Mukuro-sama, that only leaves Hibari-san but-'_

_'No! You must never marry him! that would be utterly unacceptable!'_

_'...why?'_

_'...because...because...oya, just because!'_

Chrome pondered on a while.

_'...Mukuro-sama, what about Ken?'_

_'Kufufu~ April Fools, April Fools...'_

It's wasn't April. More like July.

_'...Chikusa?'_ Chrome couldn't think of anyone else.

_'...no.'_

There was only one person left.

_'...Mukuro-sama...could it be...'_

_'kufufu?'_

_'Does Mukuro-sama wishes me to say 'Mukuro-sama'?'_

'...'

There was silence.

_'...Ah! My dear Chrome, I knew that you love me!'

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_

I warned you about the OOC-ness.

But I hope you still liked it. :) Reviews are love, and it tell us that we should continue this thing...failure.

Anyways. Credits goes to th-Spoon for coming up with this with me.

Signing off:

Kuro


	2. Love Lectures :: Lecture 2

A sequal as requested. This is actually REALLY short. Um. yes. It's just basically a copy of the previous one with a little switched roles and what not. Seriously lame. You have been warned.

OOC-ness. bare with me. :)

**Disclaimer:**The following pineapples do not belong to me, but the kid does. I wonder who's his dad. :)

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**[Love Lectures :: 6996]**

**[Lecture 2]**

The sun shone brightly upon the streets as the young illusionist made her way around the bustling city, a toddler holding onto her skirt. She sighed slightly, looking around. The toddler tugged onto her skirt, his other hand pointing towards the ice-cream stand on the other side. He looked up at her expectantly.

"Sorry, I don't have enough money…" Dokuro Chrome muttered as she continued to navigate her way around the crowd of people. The child gave a unsatisfied grunt before stiffly following Chrome, his eyes still on the melting frozen cream.

'_Oya, Oya…Chrome, who's that?'_

Chrome perked up as the familiar voice sounded in her head. It's been a while after Mukuro last talked to her, especially after that certain talk. _'…um, it's a child, Mukuro-sama.'_

'_Kufufu~ Is that your child, my precious Chrome?'_

Chrome paused for a moment, short of words before shaking her head. _'Mukuro-sama, that's-.'_

'…_don't tell me it's your child with Sawada Tsunayoshi!'_

Chrome didn't know where Mukuro got that idea from. It might've been from the previous talk about kids she had with Mukuro, but still. _'No Mukuro-sama…this isn't a child between me a boss. You told me yourself that I can't be 'together' with boss because he's not good enough. This kid is-…'_

She couldn't finish before Mukuro interrupted her again.

'_No way! Would this be with the Storm Guardian then?'_

Chrome was rather speechless, she didn't know how to answer that. She never really considered Gokudera-san at all. Despite the fact that she did mention him last time…but that was only because… _'Mukuro-sama, Gokudera-san is not really up to my taste, besides, Mukuro-sama said I couldn't be with him either…but the child-?'_

'_oya? …then the Rain Guardian…you're not serious, Chrome! I would never allow you to get together with a baseball-crazed person!'_

'…_Mukuro-sama…as I was saying, this kid-…'_

Mukuro wasn't exactly giving Chrome the time and chance to speak as he kept interrupting her. _'…Chrome…this can't be a kid with the Sun Guardian…no! That's way too extreme!'_

'…_Mukuro-sama, it's not a child with…Sasagawa-san…'_ Chrome replied as she felt another tug and looked down to see the kid had tripped over. She sighed and helped him up, making sure that he doesn't grip too tightly on her skirt that it would fall. _'As I was saying-…'_

'…' Mukuro interrupted Chrome with silence this time.

Chrome replied with equal silence.

'_Chrome…'_

'_Yes, Mukuro-sama?'_

'…_you can't be saying that…the cow…five…with…that…'_ it seemed like Mukuro was rather troubled in forming the words. Chrome took it into consideration, her face burning after she understood, _'of course not! Mukuro-sama! How could you…Lambo-san…I…don't…'_

"Gaha! Blushing! You're blushing!" the kid said as he pointed up at Chrome's suddenly red face, "Did you see your boyfriend?" Chrome looked down at him.

'_Oya? Did I hear…boyfriend?'_

'_Mukuro-sama…I don't have a boyfriend…I…'_

'_So whoever it is, the two of you are already married? Well, that's more like it. I wouldn't allow you to have a kid when you're still not committed to each other. Kufufu~'_

'…_Mukuro-sama…'_ Mukuro has rather excelling imagination.

'_But Chrome…really, this child is rather disgustingly ugly, who could be his father? It's definitely that…uh…Xanxus right? He's the only one who can afflict such ugliness upon a being that comes from the angel that is my Chrome…'_

Mukuro should really learn to be a poet. Chrome nodded to herself. _'Mukuro-sama…it's not Xanxus-san…'_

'_Oya? Then who could it be? It can't be Levi-a-than or whatever his name is…he's too much of a gaytard. Lussuria would be immediately crossed out.'_Mukuro mused, _'My Chrome has better tastes than that…no…Chrome, you can't be serious about it being that shark!'_

'…_Mukuro-sama, I never said anything of that sort,'_ Chrome sighed. She looked down at the kid who kept nudging her thigh, constantly reminding her of his presence. She kneeled down and looked at the boy, he was pointing this time at a Merry-Go-Round a little further down the street. He dragged her over as he jumped on the horse. Chrome watched as he spun round and round.

'…_he doesn't look princely…kufufu~'_

Chrome blinked, _'…Mukuro-sama…I can't stand that weird laugh.'_

'_kufufu~ can't you?'_

…he didn't seem to get the idea. Chrome sighed.

'…_but the last time I heard, Fran didn't get married and is still currently a virgin…so…could it be…you…with that…that…that…thing?'_

Chrome blinked. _Thing_? … Could be referring to Hibari?

'…_ah no. Mukuro-sama, Hibari-san would've bit me to death before anything…'_

'…_oya? Then…Ken? Chikusa? But it's not dog-like…nor is it…no, it doesn't seem like Chikusa…oya oya~ Chrome…who exactly is the father of this child?'_

Chrome paused. Is Mukuro-sama really that desperate? _'…Mukuro-sama…this isn't my child…'_

'…_oya…?'_

'…_it's a lost kid…I'm trying to find his mother…'_

'…_kufufu…fuuuuu….fuuuuuuuuuuu….'_

And Chrome didn't hear anything anymore.

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Bwaha! It's short right? Now what did I tell you?

Hoped you still liked it. :) Reviews are love. Favorite stories are also love. Story Alert? nah. It's completed. :)

_Signing Off:_

Kuro


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